We know you’re out there, because literally everyone looks infinitely more tan than us. We’re kind of hoping that as we head into winter we could be a little less “Wednesday Addams meets Powder” and a little more “something that is not that.”

And we’re willing to try just about anything you recommend. Do you use at home spray tan? Does it make you look like an oompa loompa? Are you in denial about looking like an oompa loompa? Is that a difficult state to get to?

Do you go to a salon for a spray tan? Are there any that do not charge almost $100 for that service? If not, are there ones where that service lasts more than 4 days?

Do you use a tanning bed? Are you afraid of dying? How afraid? Are you golden? Is the potential dying worth it?

Give us some input, non-albinos of the world.