Dark under eye circles: everyone who parties has them. People who work too much have them, too. And don’t get me started on what it’s like to party and work too much. Even Nico had them, and she was a supermodel. You can see glimpses of them in the “screen test” video Andy Warhol made of her face. If you have dark under eye circles, you should watch this video to feel better about yourself. It worked for me.


Rule #1 of banishing under eye circles: don’t be a heroin addict!

But if that is not a thing you can quit (either because you don’t do it in the first place, or because you love heroin), what else can you do to make those suckers go away? As anyone who has read a women’s magazine knows, no one will ever love you if your face does not resemble the faces in cosmetics ads. Do you want to die like Nico, all washed up and alone in Ibiza with no one to yell at the doctor to treat you even though you don’t qualify for Spain’s socialized medicine program? I didn’t think so.

I usually wear mine like a badge of degenerate pride, but every now and then I like to slum it in the world of conventional beauty, and maybe you do, too. So I asked my friend Jessica Plummer, a makeup artist who works at MAC cosmetics, for some helpful tips.

The first and most obvious things to do are to drink lots of water, moisturize your skin, and try to get enough sleep. But you already knew that. “Everyone should moisturize morning and night,” says Jess. “And don’t wash your face in the morning.” If your skin is oily, use moisturizer with salicylic acid in it. If it’s dry, use something richer.

But what if your eyes still look like this?

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Then it’s time for makeup.

“There are three important things for choosing a concealer,” said Jess:

-If you have dry skin and use long wearing concealer, you will see texture, fine lines, dryness, cakey-ness. Don’t do that.

-If you have oily skin and use moisturizing concealer, it won’t last that long.

-If you have texture (fine lines, raised skin) steer clear of cream concealer.

Creams are “good for covering blemishes and dark spots, but not good for covering under the eye because that skin is thinnier than the rest of the face,” so when you move around, the concealer will slide into crevices. “You can use cream concealer, but you’re gonna have to cut it with eye cream or primer.” Conclusion: just get a liquid.

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“The most important part of covering under your eyes is color correction,” said Jess. “Most people need a warm toned (red based) concealer.” That is because red cancels out green, and vice versa. Make your face redder than you think it needs to be, and it will be just the right amount of red.

MAC makes a palate with two color correctors (red and yellow) but you can use any kind you want.


Jess started out by putting red under my eyes where the darkest parts were (above). “Most people, especially fair girls, need coverage by the bridge of the nose and inner third of the eye,” she explained.

Another option is just to use a red toned concealer (also shown). Remember, you want it to be redder than your skin tone.

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For her next trick, Jess put a makeup that matched my skin tone over the color corrector. She also put some foundation on me, which she mixed with bb cream for added lustrousness, and voila, I was 100% more lovable. “Garnier Fructis is the best, I’ve tried them all,” she said of the stuff. Bb cream is also the best kind of makeup to fall asleep in, if you’re prone to doing that. Good to know!

She also gave me some tips on tools of the under eye covering up trade. (She used MAC’s 224 and 227 eye shadow blending brush.)

“I don’t recommend using your finger–but if you do, I recommend a tapping motion, otherwise you’re just wiping it off. Most people think their concealer doesn’t work because it’s on their hands.”

Good to know. Happy concealing! But the joke’s on you, because everyone still dies alone.