Do you know about Vine? It’s the best app to come along since the one that makes the food come to your house. I use it to make frantic little mescaline nightmares with the end goal of ruining social media, which is the only true purpose of Vine, as far as I can tell. But rising model/nutrition expert/celeuspawn Ireland Baldwin has been using it to show everyone how good she is at shaking her butt.
Or more specifically, “twerking,” the hiphop dance move introduced by New Orleans bounce artists in the ’90s, popularized by mainstream rappers like Juicy J, and ultimately appropriated by tiny, famous white people like Amanda Bynes and Miley Cyrus. In several of her Vines, the young Ms. Baldwin does her own approximation of the move, and she’s not half bad for a wee Caucasian:
Look at her, goofing off with her friends! Why, it’s almost like she’s just a normal kid and not the genetically perfect offspring of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
These videos make me feel somewhat relieved that Ireland Baldwin might actually be having a fun adolescence, because her online presence up until this point has led me to believe she spends all her time making gluten-free smoothies, working out at the gym, and hating her dad. The maternal old lady in me does worry, though, about the number of creepy men who are going to perv on this nubile 17-year-old’s videos, because I felt a little bit wrong watching them, and I’m not even attracted to 17-year-old girls. I’m guessing Alec Baldwin doesn’t have any clue what a Vine is, because if he did, he’d have surely put a stop to this by now, either by giving his daughter a stern talking to, or, if that proved too difficult, punching someone at Vine’s corporate office.
(Via The Superficial)