In case you were wondering from the title: yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt still exists. And so do her breasts! Despite a long history of semi-desperately trying to stay relevant using her peculiar vaginal decorating habits, Hewitt has now put a value on her boobs, and that price is very high.
“I need, like, an insurance invitation. If somebody was like, ‘Hey, you know what? We would like to insure your boobs for $2.5 million,’ I’d be like, ‘Do it. Love it! Why not?'” the 34-year-old Hewitt told the newspaper.
Pointing to her chest, she chuckled: “Yeah, these things right here are worth $5 million!”
Last year, she told Maxim: “It’s horrible to say, but I like my boobs. They’ve always served me well. They’re good.” Uh, why is it ‘horrible to say’? If she had simply said she likes her breasts, I would be a-okay with it; the fact that she seems to find it so taboo to love them, yet says she does anyway, sort of makes the whole statement seem a little too I-can-still-be-provocative-I-swear for my taste.
But as much as Jennifer Love Hewitt just plain annoys me
a lot of the time pretty much always, I also think that if you want to consider a part of your body worth a huge amount of money, then go right ahead. To be fair, she is on a show where her breasts are constantly being shown, as she plays a sex worker (a role which her grandmother apparently calls her a “television ho” because of). Considering her show is watched by 2 and a half million people on Lifetime, who knows? Perhaps her boobs (and rest of self?) are worth millions of dollars, just as Holly Madison reportedly feels about her own chest. All I know is that I kind of wish I could take out insurance on my boobs, too; I’m pretty sure I’d be equally devastated as either Hewitt or Madison if they somehow flew away off my body.