In case you were wondering from the title: yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt still exists. And so do her breasts! Despite a long history of semi-desperately trying to stay relevant using her peculiar vaginal decorating habits, Hewitt has now put a value on her boobs, and that price is very high.

During an interview with USA Today, Hewitt stated she would get insurance on her breasts, if possible:

“I need, like, an insurance invitation. If somebody was like, ‘Hey, you know what? We would like to insure your boobs for $2.5 million,’ I’d be like, ‘Do it. Love it! Why not?'” the 34-year-old Hewitt told the newspaper.

Pointing to her chest, she chuckled: “Yeah, these things right here are worth $5 million!”

Last year, she told Maxim: “It’s horrible to say, but I like my boobs. They’ve always served me well. They’re good.” Uh, why is it ‘horrible to say’? If she had simply said she likes her breasts, I would be a-okay with it; the fact that she seems to find it so taboo to love them, yet says she does anyway, sort of makes the whole statement seem a little too I-can-still-be-provocative-I-swear for my taste.

But as much as Jennifer Love Hewitt just plain annoys me a lot of the time pretty much always, I also think that if you want to consider a part of your body worth a huge amount of money, then go right ahead. To be fair, she is on a show where her breasts are constantly being shown, as she plays a sex worker (a role which her grandmother apparently calls her a “television ho” because of). Considering her show is watched by 2 and a half million people on Lifetime, who knows? Perhaps her boobs (and rest of self?) are worth millions of dollars, just as Holly Madison reportedly feels about her own chest. All I know is that I kind of wish I could take out insurance on my boobs, too; I’m pretty sure I’d be equally devastated as either Hewitt or Madison if they somehow flew away off my body.

Photo: FayesVision/