Jenny McCarthy is currently best known as a crusader against childhood vaccinations, which she believes cause autism. This pisses me off mainly because I like science and hate smallpox, but I’m also saddened by the loss of what was once a wacky-fun force in our culture. Remember how hyper she was on “Singled Out”? She was like Cameron Diaz, Courtney Stodden, Anna Nicole Smith, and Jack Black all rolled into one. I miss that.

The release of her book Bad Habits: Confessions Of A Recovering Catholic makes me happy, then, because it reminds me of a time when Jenny McCarthy was an endless source of merriment. If blogs had been a “thing” back then, can you imagine how much play she would’ve gotten? Case in point: this delightful story about taking a bunch of ecstasy and trying to have sex with a tree:

Via The Daily Mail:

“I found myself holding a tree to brace myself. The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping!”

Hey, it was the nineties. And that’s not all:

However, it was not the only trouble Jenny had while taking the drug – her friends suggested going to get help once when they freaked out about how much they had taken, until the former Playboy Playmate of the Year realised they were all naked and best not.
She said: ‘I noticed that we weren’t wearing anything.
‘So I responded, “Let’s not. We’re naked. Let’s just try to sneak back to the beach and get our clothes.” ‘

So sensible, that Jenny McCarthy. But wait, there’s more:

‘I heard a chanting voice breathing down my neck. It kept saying, “Bimbos in limbo.”
‘This must have been an act of God to punish me.’

See? Jenny McCarthy was so good at playing a blonde bimbo that even God noticed.

Come back to us, fun Jenny McCarthy. We can hump on trees together and grab each other’s boobs. I will bring the vaccines. I mean ecstasy. Dammit, do you see what you’ve done? You are just a pile of bummers now.

(Via The Daily Mail)

Photo: WENN