Sports Illustrated‘s hot teenager Kate Upton has landed the most comically oversexed burger commercial in history: sure, Paris Hilton hosed herself down while eating Carl’s Jr and Kim Kardashian rolled around bedsheets in a nightie while pleasuring herself with their iceberg lettuce… but Kate Upton actually undoes her garter and takes out her bra.

Jesus Christ, you guys:

Here’s the commercial itself. It will probably make you feel a whole host of feelings, but chief among them should be, “I am glad to see someone had the bright idea of styling Kate Upton as a pin-up,” and then, “Why is the sandwich crunchy? What is wrong with the sandwich?!”

Watch, if you want to stave off your appetite: