We’ve made it quite clear around these parts that we deplore the practice of turning human women into manic pixie dream girls who exist purely to advance the plot of some movie that is playing solely in a sensitive bro’s head. But what about plain old regular dream girls? As it turns out, they are people too.
In the September issue of Elle Magazine,
platonic essence of babeliness sentient being Kate Upton discusses how strange and icky it felt after she emerged triumphantly from her first Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover shoot, only to find that men treated her even less like a person than they already treat women. Spoiler alert: this made her feel like shit.
“After my first Sports Illustrated cover, I felt terrible about myself for a solid month. Every single guy I met was either married or about to be married, and I felt like I was their bachelor present or something. I’m not a toy, I’m a human. I’m not here to be used. I am a grown woman, and you need to figure your shit out.”
Slow down there, Andrea Dworkin! Next thing we know you’re going to be asking to vote in elections and work outside the home.
She also talks about how annoying it is when people assume she is stupid just because she’s a sexy blonde swimsuit model:
“People deal with models like they are children. They think they can pull one over on you. It’s actually funny. I’m always like, I’m about to pull something on you, and you’re so focused on thinking I’m dumb you’re not even going to know.”
Personally, I would like to know what kinds of things people are attempting to “pull over” on Kate Upton, and what type of over-pulling she is dishing out in return. Is she putting fake scorpions in dudes’ porn collections? Real spiders in their j.o. grease? Because those would be some funny jokes for Kate Upton to play.
There’s also the prerequisite quote about her body without which no Kate Upton story would be complete, at least not until she loses those last pesky ten pounds:
“I don’t really take offense to [the assholes who call her fat]. I’m fine with it. I really do like my body and growing up in Florida, it was always a good thing if you could fill out a bikini.”
So there you have it: Kate Upton is neither fat, nor dumb, nor a lifelike blow-up doll that exists solely for men’s pleasure. The more you know!
Photo: Sports Illustrated