Katy Perry Elle UK September cover

Katy Perry has the all-important September cover of Elle UK, looking terrific in a plaid Dolce & Gabbana romper with embellished waist and Christian Louboutin ankle boots–no word yet on whether or not she banished coffee and alcohol for months prior to the shoot, though.

Perry spent much of the interview talking about her various famous love interests–the cover line is Pattinson, Brand & Mayer after all. Apparently she’s done with “challenging” men, a conclusion she came to after her most recent breakup with on-again, off-again boyfriend/sexy Santa Clause friend John Mayer.

But it’s those rumors about Robert Pattinson–with whom she’s been linked repeatedly in recent months–she’d like to clear up. Apparently they’re just friends, a concept the entrainment news media can’t seem to understand, what with one of them being male and one of them being female.

Moreover, Perry is also pals with Kristen Stewart and the media speculation required her to explain herself over text. She tells Elle:

“I sent her [Stewart] a text message saying: ‘I know you’ve seen all this stuff but you know I would never disrespect you. I’m not that person. I’m just trying to be a friend to him but it is unfortunate that I do have a set of tits.”

Someday, people will accept the idea that (straight) men and women can be friends, despite the irresistible, all-consuming allure of breasts.