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In case there was any doubt in your mind that North West is going to have a weird, weird childhood, it looks like she has a new roommate: a topless portrait of her mother, Kim Kardashian. Every kid’s dream!

According to Mirror (which, keep in mind, is sort of like saying ‘according to some random dude I overheard talking on the subway’), Kanye West commissioned a street artist named Bambi to paint a picture that he could give to Kim as a wedding present, saying that he was looking for “something regal but typically Kim.”

perfect bitch kim kardashian

Only three weeks later, Bambi revealed her handiwork. The sloppy-looking painting features a topless Kim, her bare butt, a whale tale, and a single Louboutin that appears to be morphing into her asscheek. Bambi’s manager talked with Mirror (thank goodness!), and gave us a platter of useful information:

The request came through an agent and the fee is in five figures. So far it’s a one-off but we weren’t told the image had to remain exclusive, so she could have more in the pipeline.

Did you hear that? If your personal art collection is lacking a portrait of Kim Kardashian’s butt eating a shoe, you might be able to buy your own copy in the near future. All you need is between ten and $99,000, a blank wall space, and to be out of your mind.

I’ll never forget the way I felt when I first learned that Paris Hilton decorates her house with framed photographs of her own face, and I’ll never forget this moment, either. How likely do you think it is that Kimye will devote a whole hallway to naked portraits of themselves? How likely do you think it is that North will need years of therapy?

Via ONTD / Photo: Getty Images, Mirror