Kim Kardashian’s lips looked puffier than usual lately. So when people speculated that Kim had gotten lip fillers, she responded with the following:

That’s not true. Trust me, I’ve tried Botox on the show… I have the flu. I’m puffy and swollen, and I have no make-up on. Why would I just do my bottom lip? My top lip was smaller and my bottom lip was huge and I’m thinking that would be the worst doctor on earth to do one lip and not the other. It’s definitely something that I would never do. I think my lips are big enough to my taste level.

Bitch, please.

I’ve spent the last five days sick with the flu, and let me assure you that my lips do not look any plumper now than they did before I started being sick all over everything. My nose is nice and red and itchy, though. Oh, and maybe my throat looks swollen from all that super-sexy coughing I’ve been doing. And I promise you that I haven’t worn any makeup while lying in bed watching TV and wishing my head didn’t feel like it weighed twice as much as usual. And my lips? Do not look like yours. Come up with a better lie next time. Oh, and pass me some tissues, would you?