Remember when you used to cover yourself with a dusting of glitter as part of your morning routine? In addition to wearing waaaaaay too much glitter, you probably owned an impressive collection of Lip Smackers and thought a temporary cheek tattoo was the perfect way to draw attention to yourself–especially if it was sparkly. You probably bought makeup at the drugstore, Claire’s, and maybe even the dollar store, because they had some super awesome glitter pots. You also made your fair share of hair mistakes and with hair mascaras and OTT twisted updos. And let’s not forget about the fashion disasters. It’s clear that you’ve come a long way since then, even if you still don’t know exactly what contouring is. Somewhere in your teens you began to realize that you needed to switch a few things in your makeup routine, and learn the error of your glitter addiction.
Try not to cringe, because these are 13 makeup mistakes you probably made at 13:
1. Goopy Lip Gloss
If you weren’t absent-mindedly twirling your hair, your were dazed and applying lip gloss while your teacher blabbed about hypotenuse triangles. (That theory sure came in handy.) You went through at least one lip gloss a month, but always had at least four with you at all times. You believed your lips could never be too moisturized and you layered the gloss on until it would fall off your lips in globs. You exclusively wore clear or a slightly tinted pink shade, with flecks of glitter. You never touched lipstick because that was for old people, like your mom.
2. Over-Plucked Eyebrows
Back in the day there wasn’t bushy-browed Cara Delevingne. All the cool
girls gurls had naturally thin brows. Your mother said there was no way you were going to get your eyebrows waxed. That was fine, since you figured it wouldn’t be too hard to replicate the shape yourself. You borrowed your mom’s tweezers and started plucking all those annoying hairs. You didn’t know anything about arches, or eyebrow guidelines, you just knew that you wanted your brows thinner. You were left with uneven brows that looked like tadpoles, but they were skinnier. To this day, your eyebrows have never grown back the same and you are still correcting the damage.
3. Rainbow Eyeshadow
You experimented with so many different sparkly colored shadowsw as a tween, that you used up your lifetime quota at 15. Instead of a touch of rainbow, you thought it would look totally awesome to make your eye look like an actual rainbow, or at least a purple one. It wasn’t about enhancing your eye color, it was about playing with eyeshadow because it was PURPLE!!!! :D This is now why you won’t go near anything that isn’t beige or taupe.
4. Using The Tiny Sponge Applicators
Never did the thought cross your young mind about buying makeup brushes. If a product came with a makeup brush, why would you need to buy a different one? You were convinced that tiny sponge worked fine for applying eyeshadow, and there was nothing wrong with that little brush to apply your blush. As an adult, you still don’t fully understand makeup brushes, but at least now you know that you definitely do need them.
If there was anything better than a pink eyeshadow, it was a sparkly pink one. Glitter was your favorite thing. It matched your glittery shoes, and your sparkly tutu. A layer on glitter on top of your eyeshadow was the icing on the cake. And glitter was not just for your eyes. It could highlight a cheek or it could add some shimmer to your lips. And who could forget about glitter nail polish?!
6. Body Glitter
At 13, there was no such thing as too much glitter. You would have had glitter running through your veins if you could. Body glitter opened up a whole new world of sparkly possibilities and you went through those little pots of sparkles faster than you completed the quizzes in J-14.
7. Wearing Makeup For The Wrong Occasions
You thought your parents and the teachers were wrong. They’re old and not cool, so of course they wouldn’t get that it is cool to wear green and yellow eyeshadow at 9AM on a Tuesday. If they watched Lizzie McGuire they would have known that. Duh. After wearing a bit too much glitter to a pool party, you began to realize that maybe there was a time and place for certain makeup looks. At least until they invented waterproof glitter, the pool wasn’t for sparkles.
8. Mud Face Bronzer
When you get a natural tan, you get one all over, so you applied your bronzer everywhere. You had never heard of the word “contouring.” Self tanner was what your 17-year-old sister spent hours using, which seemed like a total waste of time. You may have been younger, but you thought you were waaaaaay smarter than her because you could get the same bronzed look in five minutes.
9. Wrong Foundation Shade
Wearing foundation felt so mature. It was the most grown-up thing you did besides buying your first bra. You went to the store with your friends and looked at all the different shades of cheap foundation. Your skin was slightly darker than Meg’s but lighter than Sarah’s, so you chose one called “Medium Warm.” You smeared it on your whole face with your fingers and it instantly transformed your skin, but not in the right way. Did it match? No. Did you blend it? No. Did you even need it? No.
10. Streaky Blush
Blush was something you saw your mom use, so you figured you’d try it too. You bought a bright pink shade, because it was the same color as your favorite Barbie car. You used the tiny brush it came with to swirl the color around and around on your cheeks. You looked like a flushed mime.
11. Spidery Mascara
Mascara was like the best product ever, because it made your stubby lashes look so long. Plus, mascara was one of the few things that your mother permitted you to wear. You could brush that wand through your lashes a thousand times and your eyelashes would keep on growing. Those weren’t clumps, that was a fuller lashline. Your head almost exploded when you found out mascara came in colors, and not just boring brown and black.
12. Raccoon Eyeliner
If you weren’t into rainbow eyeshadows, then you probably had an obsession with lots of black eyeliner (and with the older boy who always had to stay after class). You colored around your eyes until you looked like a panda wearing a thick eye mask. You unintentionally reassembled Taylor Momsen in her punk phase but thought you were the coolest girl ever.
13. Never Removing Your Makeup
You probably still don’t do this now, but back when you were a wee tween, you thought it was perfectly fine to wash your face with some water, and maybe a bar of soap. It didn’t matter if you were rolling around in the dirt, or had every pore covered in glitter, you figured water would wash it all away. It would be a few years before you discovered cleansers, and toners.