Oh, Mary Kate and Ashley,

I remember when you two looked like skinny, eccentric homeless people. Those were good days, right? The days before you looked like you were going to start being a “faces of meth” warning? Seriously. I appreciate adventurous hairstyles, but you look like Courtney Love in the part of The People Vs. Larry Flynt where she’s popping too may pills. If you want to dye your hair, go for it, but please, Mary Kate and Ashley, go to a professional who will dye it all. I know you’re probably confused by People Magazine excerpts like:

While the two fashion plates are ever the trendsetters, we’re used to the style-savvy twins letting their clothes, not their hair, do most of the talking.

But remember that’s People magazine speak for “what the hell happened?” Maybe it’s a back to the 80’s spoof? Or a costume party? Or something that provides a logical explanation for this? Please?