A sexy blonde model with her butt exposed, champagne in hand…towing a coffin. A bride…straddling a coffin. A woman with a sword….sitting on a coffin. Models in body paint…with coffins.

From the 2011 calendar

From the 2011 calendar

Here’s something I never thought I’d be writing about! Lindner, a coffin company in Poland, has put out the fifth edition of their calendar, which features topless models posing with—you guessed it!—the big old wooden boxes you bury people in.


From the 2012 calendar

The Daily Mail has a wonderfully horrifying selection of the insane photos from past years, but the 2014 version is decidedly NFSW, since all of the coffin-cavorting features topless models. It certainly looks like Lindner has ramped up the sexiness factor in the five years they’ve been putting out the calendar since they went from skimpy clothing to straight up naked girls.

The Catholic Church spoke out against the calendars last year, but Lindner owner Zbigniew Lindner says:

“My son had the idea of creating the company’s calendar so that we could show something half-serious, colorful, beautiful; the beauty of Polish girls and the beauty of our coffins.

So much work goes into our coffins that are only seen for a few moments at the funeral. We wanted to show that a coffin shouldn’t be a sacred object – it’s furniture, it’s the last bed you’ll ever sleep in. It isn’t a religious symbol. Its a product. Why are people afraid of coffins and not of business suits, cosmetics or jewelry?”

He has an interesting point, I’ll give him that.  While this is certainly an unusual marketing tactic, I have to hand it to to Lindner for their creativity. This is probably the most attention anyone’s paid to a coffin manufacturer….ever. While I truly abhor seeing objectified female bodies selling yet another product, I do wonder why naked girls + coffins is considered strange and newsworthy while naked girls + cars (or perfume, or booze, or the myriad of other products that use scantily-clad women in their advertising) is business as usual.

Reportedly, Lindner donates 100% of profits from the calendar to charity, and each one comes with a tiny coffin-shaped pendant. Not necessarily what I’d want to put on my neck, but hey, I’m sure someone appreciates it.

You can watch a “behind the scenes” video for the “nature-inspired” 2014 calendar shoot here and again, beware because this is definitely NSFW:

[youtube_iframe id=”g5iNSCWrCak”]

Photos: Lindner Coffins