Today, in Rich People Problems It’s Hard To Summon Any Pity Over: moms the city Upper East Side over are struggling hard to lose their baby weight…sometimes before they’ve even had their babies. According to The New York Post, this is a growing problem among well-to-do trophy wives who forget that weight gain is a necessary part of having a growing fetus inside of you. (That is, of course, unless you outsource the incubation of your children to the help. Why do those silly trophy wives never think of that?)

“All of my relatives gush about how good I look — but here on the Upper East Side, I feel like every-one around me looks much better,” laments “Karen,” whose ab muscles were almost too strong for a C-section and who deems her young son’s vegan apple walnut puree “too decadent” for her. (I guess the baby food diet is out of style now?)

The Post quotes a number of business owners talking about the uptick in demand for pregnant lady workout programs and extra small maternity clothes, and then a number of doctors saying how unhealthy this has the potential to be. But wait:

Karen’s paranoia isn’t so crazy when you consider celebrities like reality TV star Bethenny Frankel, who lost 30 pounds within a month of delivering a baby girl [something something Victoria Beckham].

See? This crazy thing people do is not, in fact, crazy, because celebrities do it too, and no celebrity has ever done anything unhealthy, ever.

This all seems pretty absurd to me, because the one thing that appeals to me about pregnancy is the license to stuff face like there’s no tomorrow. Also: having the capacity to stuff face like there’s no tomorrow. I’d never have to choose just one thing from the dessert menu! Why can’t they just enjoy the one time in life when it’s socially acceptable for a woman to gain weight?

Answer: because they have a problem. Disordered eating and over-exercising is an issue no matter how much money you have, and I’d hate to see anyone harm her baby because she couldn’t bring herself to eat enough during pregnancy. If you find yourself too grossed out by the idea of gaining weight to listen to your doctors, perhaps you should do yourself and your child a favor and get some therapy before bringing a child into the world? Motherhood is hard enough already without bringing an un-treated neurosis and/or eating disorder into the mix.