If you’ve got a seven-figure bottle of nail polish lying around, and I know you do, there’s no better celebrity to sign on to help you sell it than Kelly Osborne.
The famous daughter has had six-figure nails before. She wore Azature’s $250,000 black diamond nail polish to the Emmy Awards last year, and was properly lambasted for the ill-taste of it all. She later apologized, saying, “Please forgive me for not regretting it,” which was remarkably primarily for being the first time we’ve ever seen someone say “sorry not sorry” unironically.
She really wasn’t sorry, though, and to prove it she’s splashing out with a bottle that’s four times as expensive as the one that got her in trouble last year. This one is Azature’s White Diamond nail polish, which seriously costs a million fucking dollars. The bottle has 98 carats of diamonds crushed in it, because you’re worth it, and the top of the bottle is made of platinum, because you’re an asshole. (Not really you, dear reader, just the hypothetical person paying for this unconscionable waste of money.)
It’s not even a very cute manicure. We live in a world in which both glitter and Swarovski crystals exist, and can be applied as nail art to cute effect. The only conceivable value add to the diamond manicure is having the opportunity to shout, “I am wearing a diamond manicure that costs a million dollars!” while someone mugs you for your acrylic tips.
At least the polish is part of a celebrity charity competition. Toni Braxton also got a manicure from the $1 million bottle, and the company says it will donate the proceeds to charity depending on which celebrity actually sells the damn thing. If Kelly Osbourne sells it, the proceeds will go to the Sharon Osbourne Colon Cancer Foundation. If Braxton sells it, the proceeds will go to Lupus LA.
We’re curious about how much of the million-dollar price tag counts as proceeds and will actually be going to the winning charity, should someone actually buy this monstrosity. We’re also curious about whether any person would be willing to spend $1,000,000 on a bottle of used nail polish, even one that’s sort of for charity.
Meanwhile, Azature is selling a low-end version of their white nail polish with diamonds in it for $30. Proceeds from those sales will go straight back to Azature.
Via The Huffington Post/Photos: Instagram/KellyOsbourne