I love the gym. I do. Until a stranger decided that when we’re running on treadmills, it would be a perfect time to start a conversation. But it wasn’t. Because I was in the midst of running. It was working out time. Not talking time. And, according to the people in the office, there are ever more horrible things people do at the gym. Like:

1) That. Seriously. I could not keep a lighthearted conversation with that person going because I was already out of breath and not going for a leisurely stroll through the forest. Asking “how does this machine work?” is fine. I can point you to the power button. I cannot advise you on good vegan restaurants in the neighborhood. I don’t know that stuff anyway.

2) Lilit says the one person in the gym dressing room who is buck naked is always the one person you don’t want to see buck naked. Always.

3) People who try to reserve machines using their water bottles and towers and then walk away and don’t come back forever.

4) Stop grunting so loudly I can hear you across the gym. You can be winded. That’s cool. You can pant a little. But please, dude on the machines, if working out is causing your to sound like you’re passing a kidney stone, maybe you should lighten the weights a little bit.

5) Wipe off the machine. It’s just good manners.