pole dancing class

I feel like every time I pick up the Daily Mail I read about a woman who is losing weight by pole dancing. Every time. It appears all they have to do is go in and they are losing weight and swinging their bodies around the pole like a spider monkey. I thought maybe it would be fun to write my own article about things that happened when I tried a pole dancing class at my gym. This happened:

1) I realized I should probably get a pair of those leggings. You know the kind. The butt hugging kind. The kind that is not my floppy work-out pants.

2) Your legs just tangle in those floppy pants. They just tangle all the time. But I did not want it to look like I was trying too hard to be sexy. I guess I learned it’s okay to look overtly sexy and work-outs based upon stripping.

3) The Pussycat Dolls are, if not a good band, certainly a good band for this type of thing.

4) Every single person in the class is more agile than me.

5) There is a 70 year old man twirling around that pole like the limberest of spider monkeys.

6) I fell down.

7) I fell down again.

8) I fell down and I’m lying on the floor, tangled in a little heap, kicking vainly against my yoga pants.

9) 70 year old men are helping me up and assuring me pole dancing is easy. This is high on the list of personal worst moments in my life.

10) I lost absolutely no weight, not one single pound.

Picture via Wikipedia