Over at Betty Confidential today, Jackie Cascarano argues against any males who aren’t motorcycle riding bad boys having long hair. She mourns Gisele’s hot football player husband’s decision not to cut his hair, then launches into a discussion of who should and should not be allowed to wear his hair long, like a girl would.

“It’s not that we’re against long hair on men, just long hair on certain men,” she writes. “Pretty boys should stick to the pretty boy handbook and keep their locks in check. If you’re not going to grab us around the waist, throw us on the back of your motorcycle and forget to call us in the morning, you might as well cut your hair, look the part and put on your chinos for brunch.”

Excuse me, but what pretty boy handbook does she have? I can’t think of anything prettier than a waifish young boy sporting long, lovely, flowing locks down to his ass. (I’m looking at you, Adrej Pejic.) I think she’s confusing “pretty boys” with “preppy boys,” or, as I like to think of them, “boring, un-fuckable boys.”

Maybe we’re just crazy, but there’s a general consensus among my friends that dudes should never, ever cut their hair. When my boyfriend got his hair cut short towards the beginning of our courtship, it made me like, ten percent less attracted to him. I even have a friend who straight up refuses to date any guy without long, beautiful tresses. (She also likes dudes who dress like Goth cowboys and wear man rings, but that’s a story for another day). Are we a bunch of Brooklyn weirdos, or do you agree? Lay it on me, dear readers.

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