Mary-Louise Parker, Rachel Weisz

Editors Jennifer and Ashley are having a fight. Jennifer says that Mary-Louise Parker is beautiful – not just on the inside because of her devastatingly emotional performance in Angels in America and her deft comic turns on the hit Showtime series Weeds – but also because she is just. plain. beautiful. Look at those large eyes! Those delicate cheekbones! That ivory skin against her dark hair! She basically looks like Snow White, right? If Mary-Louise Parker was in Snow White’s fairy tale world, and the Evil Queen asked who the fairest of them all was, the mirror would say Mary-Louise Parker.

Ashley somehow thinks that Rachel Weisz is prettier. Why do you think that is? Do you think it’s because Ashley is blind? Should Ashley go get an eye exam? Or is Ashley just being wrong willfully for reasons no one can ever understand?

[Ashley Ed. Note: When Rachel Weisz steps into frame in that scene in The Mummy, dressed like Jasmin from Aladdin, you could hear the puberty going off in the theater–look how beautiful she is. She is so beautiful. Also, Jennifer is a dumb asshole.]

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