It’s officially horse racing season! As the horses, jockeys and, of the course, the owners who have invested in all this, duke it out to win the Triple Crown — which has not been won since 1978 — avid fans of horse racing are overly excited. Could this be the year that the Crown is won?

We already have the Kentucky Derby out of the way, so next up are the Preakness Stakes and Belmont Stakes, respectively. For those of you who have never attended a proper horse race, it usually involves hats — lots and lots of fancy hats, as if it were the New York City Easter Parade. Granted, the hats that are sported at the Triple Crown races are, um, a wee bit fancier than the insanity you might see on 5th Avenue on Easter Sunday every year. But the importance is still focused on what you wear on your head. It is a tradition, after all.

But what if you had enough hair to give yourself a horse on your head instead of a hat? Would you do it? Could you do it? Wouldn’t that be an ode of odes to the sport? Would you dare to pull it off while screaming: “Critics be damned!” I know some of you would, so go ahead and admit it.

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