As someone who perpetually looks bad in photos, I was excited to come across an excerpt from Simon Doonan‘s novel, Gay Men Don’t Get Fat that offered two major tips on how to pose perfectly for the camera.

I had long ago adopted the Olsen sister technique of saying ‘prune’ when my photo was being taken, but after three years of such a face, it was time to let it go. It’s difficult to look at hundreds of photos of yourself from parties and events and in every single one you have the same pouty, duckbill-like pucker. It’s actually embarrassing.

But now Doonan has spiced up my life with his tips on posing, and since I’m always being chased down by paparazzi, I feel it’s not only my job to work these moves into my daily life, but to share them, too. Because honestly, we’re all being stalked by the paparazzi everyday–in our heads anyway.


According to Doonan, photographer Irving Penn‘s advice to his models was to say ‘Thursday’ right before he took their photo. ‘Thursday,’ unlike the standard and boring ‘cheese,’ creates a pouty but “natural, subtle smile.” Try it now. Feel the difference? [tagbox tag=”models”]


This tip comes from Kate Moss who’s been known to repeat the phrase during photo shoots. Says Doonan: “Kate’s mantra is accompanied by a light neck stretch and a proffering toward the camera of her magnificent bone structure. Kate’s tip will maximize what little neck you have and minimize your chins.” Basically your double and triple chins are about to look like one beautiful chin with this pose. I’d like to confirm this works, but they’ve taken the mirror away from my desk because I spend too much time looking in it.

I guess this means we’ll all look like Kate Moss in our photos from now on–you know, for the sake of the paparazzi.