Have you read this drinker’s pretty charming questionnaire about himself?

You have now. It’s Barack Obama. Who also goes by Barrage OTrauma. Christ, I would have had such a crush on him in school. Raise your hand if you also would have spent many night pining over how you could contribute to the law review to hang out with him, despite not studying law. Ah. I see a lot of hands raised. Tell me how you would have plotted to do that.

Pic via Buzzfeed.