Last week, I tried out Candy, Prada’s $90 version of a sweet teenybopper fragrance. My hope was that since it was by Prada and cost as much as a week’s worth of groceries, I would feel better about the fact that I was spraying on the type of scent that is usually reserved for 13-year-old girls who have just stolen it from their local CVS.

But this week, I’ve decided that my dignity can just go ahead and be damned – I’m going straight to the nauseatingly sweet fragrance source. That’s right! This week, I’m trying Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean Noel.

The Vanilla Bean Noel fragrance is part of Bath and Body Works’ holiday line, which means that you can only get it at this time of year. That makes it much more appealing, obviously, and another great thing about this fragrance is that at $12.50, I can just buy it, and who gives a shit if I hate it and it sits on my shelf until such time as I forget that I hate it and decide I want to channel my inner middle school trollop once again? (Choices, and disposable income! Some of the many benefits of growing up.)

The fragrance is actually a body mist, which – again – no one uses beyond high school, but I’m already deep in this shit anyway.

You might be surprised to hear that the scent isn’t complicated; it literally smells like you’ve shoved a vanilla bean halfway up your nostril. But basically, Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean Noel is what I thought I was going to get with Prada Candy: sweet, sticky, and perfectly literal. It doesn’t last very long, so if you want to keep wafting delicious holiday goodness throughout the day, you have to either carry it with you or be a little heavy-handed, and possibly spray it on your clothes, too.

Still, my mission was accomplished: after spritzing it on, I walked around smelling like a fucking cookie (finally!). And sometimes, that’s really all any woman wants.