Shaun White

I love myself some natural (and also unnatural) ginger hair. Its so rare and unique, I just want to run my fingers through it and marvel at its multidimensional wonder. Oh, red hair… how my mousy brunette mane envies your inherently interesting nature, thus why I opted to dye my hair bright blue for seven years. I’m just way too jealous of people with naturally fun hair.

Shaun White, for example, is not somebody I’ve ever found particularly attractive, but my god — his hair. It’s so lustrous! It shimmers! It can actually be called “locks,” a description I have always wished to have. Sure, he’s an excellent athlete (albeit occasionally a little scary) and he is a fascinating person, but, as they say, I’m just not that into him. I think he’ll live.

Regardless of whether or not I am hypothetically rejecting Mr. White, I cannot help but be a little sad about this:

Sure, Shaun White, it was “only hair.” But it was hair that was beautiful and long and oh-so-shiny. And red. Granted, it’s not entirely gone and, according to E! Online, it may be a “much better look” for the guy, but I’m still rather saddened by this sudden transition from that lengthy lovely goodness. Or maybe I’m just bitter; after all, if I had naturally gorgeous red hair, I would never fucking cut it. Ever. I would take insurance out on my goddamn hair.

But no, not Shaun White; he had to toss it away. Now, he just kind of looks like somebody who would have the Winklevoss twins style him in the morning and secretly hang out with Mark Zuckerberg at night.

It was for charity though, so doesn’t that make it a-okay? Well, all right, folks: I have to admit the fact that he then donated the chopped portion to Locks of Love. But can’t a girl be a little sad momentarily for the loss of her favorite male celebrity hairstyle?

Photo: Dan Jackman/