Stephane Rolland : Front Row - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014

Kim Kardashian is an exceptionally beautiful 33-year-old woman who is always camera-ready, even at the gym. So it made sense that when the American Kate Middleton would be preparing for the wedding of the century, she’d have to think outside the box for her beauty treatments. Vampire blood facials are so 2013. So Kim went straight to a mad scientist dermatologist to have her face infused with stem cells for $550.

Before some wingnuts decide to start picketing the Kimye wedding because they think she is rubbing human fetal tissue into her face, the stem cell facial is vegan. (Plants have stem cells, too.)

According to The Cut, Kardashian went to Lancer Dermatology in L.A., which also services the skin of Beyoncé and Victoria Beckham. For $550, Kim got a rose face oil mask, slathered in vegan stem cell serum, and left to set under an LED light.

That sounds pretty fancypants, but we’ve seen pictures of Kardashian since she got to Paris and her skin doesn’t really look any different than it did a week ago.

Kim Kardashian, who is reportedly due to marry Kanye West this week, has lunch with Serena Williams in Paris

Her skin looks fabulous, but it pretty much always looks like that. Whether it’s because of genetics or regular stem cell and vampire blood facials, the world may never know. But at least she doesn’t look all spotty and blotchy like we do after facials; that would be a disaster before the Kimye wedding.

There are just a few days left before Kim Kardashian becomes Mrs. Kimye, and I’m more excited than I was at Christmas. What will the dress look like? (Personally, I think there will be three–one each from Givenchy, Lanvin, and Balmain, but the Givenchy will be the main one.) What will the hair look like? Will Kim Kardashian let Kylie Jenner keep her blue hair or go totally Bridezilla and make her dye it back to a less bride-upstaging color? Will everyone get butt facials before the wedding and let E! film it for their TV show? That last one is a given. Of course they’re all getting butt facials before the wedding. I wish I were there with them. I’d even get the stem cell facial. It sounds completely crazy, but if it can give a person skin like Kim Kardashian’s, a few hundred bucks and a weird pile of stem cells might actually be worth it.

(Photos: WENN, PCN)