Snooki weight loss diet fitness

Would you look at that: a venal, self-obsessed fameball is on the cover of a magazine. We were wondering why we hadn’t seen Snooki around these parts–she must have been in hiding, diligently hitting the treadmill and eating small handfuls of nuts and celery this whole time (er, “running after her toddler,” we bet). We guess she couldn’t get a diet pill endorsement deal this go-round.

Us Weekly hasn’t put Snooki’s diet plan online, but, without having seen the issue, we can confidently tell you it looks like this:

  • breakfast: oatmeal, egg white omelets and fresh fruit
  • lunch: salad with grilled chicken
  • dinner: salmon with steamed vegetables (especially broccoli).

We are confident because this is the diet attributed to every single famous person ever when they lose a bunch of weight and need a magazine cover to validate their existence.

Here are some quotes:

“When you have a baby, everything changes,” the 4-foot-9 star says in the new issue of Us Weekly. Part of Snooki’s transformation? She’s shed an astounding 42 pounds since giving birth, weighing in at a 102 pounds and revealing the sexy results for Us in body-revealing bikinis.

“I lost it for me,” she tells Us, “but I also wanted Jionni to know that I can be hot as a mom.”

Sorry.

(Us Weekly)