Yes, I'm wearing my leoaprd print coat. In August. I love it and it makes me feel safe and I am sick. I AM SICK.


So, a pretty significant plus of having an office environment is being able to go in and tell everyone you’re an incubus of viral plague. It’s my Emily Blunt Devil Wears Prada impression.

Really. I don’t know why I keep going to work when I’m sick. I mean, I do. It’s because I am saving my sick days for the time my leg inevitably gets chopped off. I absolutely believe this will happen one day, and I will need a bunch of sick days for when it happens. Every year I think this will happen, and when it does not, I feel a little cheated.

I also feel cheated whenever I have a cold in the summer, because you can’t sit around and drink hot toddys. You can eat tomato soup, but it’s not really as good as it is during the winter. I don’t want to eat gazpacho. Eating gazpacho sounds totally disgusting. But eating hot soup in August also doesn’t sound that great, either. Ice cream sounds considerably better, but I hear it’s bad for your throat.

What do you do while you’re just carrying around the plague inside you, waiting for your legs to get chopped off?

Don’t say “watch Contagion.” That’s a given. I’m channeling the Jude Law character as best I can.

Oh, Jesus Christ, I feel terrible. What are your best summer sickness tips? I’m 7 minutes away from crawling under my desk and power napping. By power napping I mean “napping like a feeble kitten for the next 12 hours.”

Also, I’m going out tonight (I’m finally going to see The Book of Mormon, I’m not missing it) so, if we can’t make me feel better, any ideas on how I can look healthy? Blush, maybe?