Everyone’s favorite unnecessary and potentially harmful hygiene product, Summer’s Eve, is at it again! The brand is famous for its persistently sexist, misleading, and all-around icky commercials, and their new magazine ad is pretty consistent with their usual bullshit.

“Happy alentine’s Day,” it reads. “Don’t forget your ‘V’ this Valentine’s Day. Show your V some love with Summer’s Eve Cleansing Cloths and Wash. From your morning shower to your evening plans, we’ll keep you fresh all day long.”

Um, okay. I have a lot of feelings about this.

  • I’m imagining what it would look feel like to rush out the door in the morning and not realize until you’re on a bus or something that you left your vagina at home. Ugh, again?
  • This looks and sounds exactly like one of those old-timey newspaper ads that we love to make fun of— like the ones that advised women in the 1920s to douche themselves with Lysol. Have we really progressed so little? I shouldn’t be able to open a lady mag in 2014 and see something even Don Draper wouldn’t approve of.
  • Disrupting your body’s normal self-cleaning process to rub chemicals that smell like fake flowers into your most sensitive areas doesn’t sound like the greatest way to “show your V some love.”
  • Idk why Summer’s Eve assumes I’m doing anything on Valentine’s Day besides gearing up to buy highly discounted heart-shaped candy from CVS the next morning.
  • It’s pretty sick that this company, whose products only exist because some clever marketer invented a new insecurity for women, is able to profit off of convincing their customers that they owe it to the world to stop smelling human.
  • Just stop, okay?

Our buds at HuffPost Women are just as disturbed as we are, brilliantly describing it as “kind of like an ASPCA ad for your vagina. Better get help before it’s too late!” And over at Jezebel, Doug Barry sums it up pretty nicely:

The only thing that might top this is a Taco Bell ad of someone sitting alone inside a Taco Bell with the caption, ‘Treat yourself with a Valentine’s Day table for one.’

Pretty much. Do us a favor, Summer’s Eve, and stop being a company full of humungous douchebags.