The other day, our writer Amanda reflected on how she wishes she could learn to take a compliment after an uncomfortable incident with a flattering partner. For those who hate links, the gist of the situation: he called her sexy, she got annoyed, he insisted she learn to take a compliment, she got angry, he got upset, she told him he would soon lose a testicle if he pushed the discussion further. As she wrote, all Amanda really wants to say to those who flatter her is, “Shut the fuck up and quit being nice for the sake of being nice,” but wondered if anybody else had advice on how to take a compliment.
As the comments that followed showed, she’s not alone in her dilemma. One reader wrote:
I have people giving me compliments for any little thing. It makes me feel like they are being insincere because I don’t feel that way. It doesn’t even matter what it is for, but yet at the same time I do want people to at least acknowledge some of the stuff I do.
Other commenters said they felt uncomfortable with compliments, as well, and they respond by feigning surprise or pointing out why the admirer is wrong. As for myself, I tend to blush furiously and attempt to thank the other person as well as possible, but I absolutely cannot make eye contact. No clue why, I just feel weird and awkward, so I act grateful but look in a completely different direction while doing so, which I am trying to change because I have a feeling it comes off pretty awkwardly.
Sometimes, when we feel a certain way about ourselves, it’s hard to imagine that others may see us in a different light. (Note: This statement is definitely true for me, but I don’t necessarily speak for e’erbody else, mmk?) However, there are ways to learn to take compliments — it is possible! You may just have to fake it until you make it, or think carefully about intent before you respond.
Photo: somegeekintn / Flickr