tan mom

This music video by Patricia Krentcil is going to burn your eyeballs as though you stared into the sun itself. Are you ready you guys? It’s Tan Mom.


The words to the song are mystifying enough, but should we discuss some important questions that the video seems to pose? For instance…

  • Who is that guy who looks like a teenager fondling her breasts?
  • Why can she not tan outside with birds? Do birds block the sun? Does she have feelings about Alfred Hitchcock movies she has not yet explored?
  • If she is cooler than Octo Mom, why does she insist that we get away from her?
  • Indeed, is making a music video not designed to make people pay attention to her?
  • Is it a specific group of people who she wants to get away from her?
  • Is it us?
  • Why, for the love of God, why are they all doing the robot? That does not even make sense.
  • Would this not be more effective if they had filmed it at an actual beach?
  • Would this not be more effective if they had filmed it anywhere instead of in front of a screen displaying fake palm trees?
  • Seriously, who are those guys she keeps nuzzling?
  • What do they want to, “Let be the way it is?” How will Tan Mom nuzzling this guy at a podium add gravitas towards that statement?
  • Why is it important to “not make a deal?” Discuss some deals you have made in your life.
  • Does her slump at the end not seem somewhat defeated?
  • Is shouting “It’s Tan Mom!” intended as a call to action, or simply to show a mastery of basic facts?

And, most importantly, why did this woman make a music video?