tan mom

This music video by Patricia Krentcil is going to burn your eyeballs as though you stared into the sun itself. Are you ready you guys? It’s Tan Mom.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBruaC6wdGw?version=3]

The words to the song are mystifying enough, but should we discuss some important questions that the video seems to pose? For instance…

  • Who is that guy who looks like a teenager fondling her breasts?
  • Why can she not tan outside with birds? Do birds block the sun? Does she have feelings about Alfred Hitchcock movies she has not yet explored?
  • If she is cooler than Octo Mom, why does she insist that we get away from her?
  • Indeed, is making a music video not designed to make people pay attention to her?
  • Is it a specific group of people who she wants to get away from her?
  • Is it us?
  • Why, for the love of God, why are they all doing the robot? That does not even make sense.
  • Would this not be more effective if they had filmed it at an actual beach?
  • Would this not be more effective if they had filmed it anywhere instead of in front of a screen displaying fake palm trees?
  • Seriously, who are those guys she keeps nuzzling?
  • What do they want to, “Let be the way it is?” How will Tan Mom nuzzling this guy at a podium add gravitas towards that statement?
  • Why is it important to “not make a deal?” Discuss some deals you have made in your life.
  • Does her slump at the end not seem somewhat defeated?
  • Is shouting “It’s Tan Mom!” intended as a call to action, or simply to show a mastery of basic facts?

And, most importantly, why did this woman make a music video?