I’ve been looking for thick sparkly nail polish my entire life. Ever since I realized that I wouldn’t be a princess with a shiny tiara galloping through a mythical forrest, my attraction to sparkles and sequins kicked in and seems to have made my lack of tiara life bearable.
I see sequins in a store window and I run like hell to buy whatever garment they happen to be on; I see rhinestones on a bra, I absolutely must purchase it, and when I see perfectly sparkly nail polish on a stranger on the street, I stalk then inquire with the excitement of a five-year-old who just discovered that tutus exist.
However, trying to find sparkly nail polish thick enough to actually coat the whole nail, as opposed to just be used as a top coat of shimmer, has been difficult. I have tried many brands and colors and still have ended up disappointed. I was just about to cover my nails in glue and shove them in a tub of sparkles when I came across the OPI Muppets capsule collection. Although I had read about it a couple months ago and made a mental note to try them out, I somehow forgot until last week.
For reasons I don’t want to discuss, I stumbled into the Ricky’s a few blocks away from my apartment and noticed that they had a few of The Muppets’ colors. Since it’s the holiday season I bought “Fresh Frog of Bel Air” (green) and “Gettin’ Miss Piggy With It” (red). And I have one word for the outcome after applying three coats: hallelujah!
Yes, it took three very thick, dripping brush strokes of polish to reach the desired look, but it finally happened. A life time of searching has finally come to an end, people. So, of course, I’m in the market to buy the rest of the colors and several of each so I’ll forever be inundated in sparkly nails. I really never thought it wasn’t going to happen, but now I have myself a real life Christmas miracle.