Comedian Meghan O’Neill has accurately noticed that every mannequin looks exactly like someone starring in a telenova. Their strange, pulled faces are identical. But then, I guess “mannequin” is really the look that everyone addicted to Botox is ultimately aiming for.

But just because they’re a little bit brittle doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings, though! Nicole Kidman and the Queen of England are both said to have feelings, and so can these mannequins. Look at all the feelings they can have, entirely without moving their lips.

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Some key lines from this that you may want to use in your daily, casual conversations:

  • “I will pounce you, mi amor, as a mountain lion pounces an unsuspecting hiker.”
  • “I thought you were dead!” “I was dead.” “And weren’t you dead?” “Si, of course.” “So we have all been dead.” (This happens in every soap opera or telenova I have ever watched.)
  • “You should be with who you love. Especially if you have matching shirts.” (This is just true, though I think very few people have matching whale shirts.)

Basically, I think you should use all of those phrases today, in a coffeeshop, maybe with a friendly barista. Especially the one about how everyone has been dead. You know what? Just make that the way you greet people. Just go up to someone and say, “I thought you were dead!” I’m almost certain they’ll get a kick out of it. It seems to work for mannequins, in any case. Do it without moving your face.

Picture via Getty