Well, it only took like 2,000 years for cool stuff to happen. But apparently, you were born at the right time, because they’ve engineered a robot barber in Japan. Designed to help the elderly at nursing homes, the hairdresser-bot “is built to perfectly replicate the sensation of having one’s hair hand-washed when patient orderlies aren’t present. In just three minutes, the robot will shampoo, massage and finally rinse your hair.” To which we say, “don’t the olds already have enough perks, with all their tweed jackets and pipes an abilities to blackmail people by pretending to be deaf?” Bring us the robots! Bring us all the 24-fingered robots!