Lilit and I are fairly skeptical about things that smell like things, especially after that whole unfortunate little episode with Marc Jacobs’ biscotti perfume (which smelt like pork and cleaning fluid). But, oh, God, we could not even have expected the brilliance that is Lather’s Almond, Milk & Honey Body Butter.

We love the way this product smells in a freakish way that makes us think that maybe it has magical properties. The scent transported us – like the taste of Proust’s madeleines – back to the happiest moments of our pre-teen days.  The lotion is supposed to do something for our dry hands too, but whatever, we just slather it over them so we can hold our hands inconspicuously close to our noses and inhale the scent. I wish they would turn this into a perfume, because I would spritz it on my pillow every night before I went to sleep. But maybe it’s just us? No, it’s not. We went around the office demanding that people try this and say what it smells like. These are their comments:

This is like cake batter. It is delicious.

It reminds me of cherry Lip Smackers. Remember cherry Lip Smackers? I used to have a necklace of those. There was a pineapple scent and a Dr Pepper scent. It wasn’t a real necklace. It was a rope necklace.

Is it for tasting? This smells like it would taste so good. (No, it is lotion).

It is sugar and spice and everything nice. Minus spice.

No, BonneBell. Yes, it’s like my first BonneBell lip gloss. I can’t remember what flavor that was supposed to be, but it was so good.

It totally does smell like BonneBell. Or sun tan lotion, but not gross.

It’s some kind of pastry.

Like your mother used to make?

To me, it smells like the time my family went to Hawaii when I was 9, and the lobby of the hotel smelt like gardenias and coconuts. I loved that trip.

Like a cookie. A fresh baked cookie. No, no, it’s Dum Dums. Remember? The lollipops. It’s some sort of candy Dum Dum flavor.

Oh God, can I eat it?

No, no, this is cherry. Cherry sourballs. It smells just like cherry sourballs.

Obviously, the smell is different for everyone because everyone’s idea of happiness is different. This “Almond, Milk and & Honey Body Butter” label is clearly just a cover because they couldn’t write “The Happiest Moments of Your Youth, in Scent Form” because that would seem too meta. Still, they should have given us a hint and called it “Rosebud,” you know?

Also, if the publicist could send us twenty bottles they’d be appreciated, because now everyone wants some.

On a scale of 1-10 ranking whether this thing smells like the thing it is supposed to smell like: 1,000,000. Because it exceeds almond, milk & honey and instead achieves the very scent of joy.

Buy this! Buy it now! Otherwise you will be muttering its name on your deathbed and the reporter will not understand. – Lather