Miss Delaware has alopecia. The Miss America contestant Kayla Martell has been dealing with condition – in which hair is lost from the scalp – since she was 10.  She’s competed multiple times without wigs, but will be donning one for the pageant in order to appear “more approachable.” That makes her vaguely unorthodox.  But not unorthodox enough to make me tune in to watch Miss America. Here are some contestants I’m hoping for in the future:

a dik-dik.

Russell Brand

Midget from the Yakuza mob.

Fire baton twirling boy scout, lost and confused, just wants to go home.

Nun dressed as Pope Joan for swimsuit contest.