barbie and ken

When we heard that human Barbie doll Valerie Lukyanova had met with human Ken doll Justin Jedlica we thought it would be a match made in some sort of Mattel heaven. We thought they would build their dream house together, and wear lots of outfits, and deal with the fact that “math is hard.” Together. They would deal with it together. But no, now our dreams are dashed, because they’re actually fighting and don’t seem to like each other very much.

The Sun reports that Justin said:

“Much of her look is added make-up, fake hair and slimming corsets. Drag queens have put on the same illusions for years.”

Burn! Valeria retorts:

“Justin said bad things about me but he had more than 90 operations, while I had only one.

“I am not hiding that I’ve had plastic surgery. I had breast implants because I want to be perfect.

“He would do better not to comment on who is plastic and who is not. I think he is handsome man — but he overdid his lips.”

This is actually strangely reminiscent of what our Barbies said to one another before we cut off their hair and tossed them down the stairs to see if they landed on their head or their feet. We hope that does not happen to them (I mean, unless we actually see the hand of God flinging them down a mountain, because that would be interesting). And we also hope that Valeria’s next comment will be to compare Justin to a Ken doll anatomically.

Pictures via Facebook