victoria beckham allure cover

The always fascinating Victoria Beckham looks predictably gorgeous on the March 2014 cover of Allure, and because this world is occasionally a beautiful and righteous place, her interview is full of references to her fellow Spice Girls… and to her boobs.

The magazine gives us a little glimpse into the enticing mind of Posh:

Gazing at an old photo featuring a fair amount of cleavage, she feels the need to describe the fate of those breasts: “I don’t have them anymore.” A small pause: “I think I may have purchased them.” And then what? she is asked. Did your breasts just leave? “Or they got removed, one or the other,” she says. You removed the implants? “Yeah,” she replies with satisfaction. Because they hurt you? “No,” says Beckham.

Hmm. Maybe I’m just overly protective of Victoria— she’s like a sultry, unsmiling, potentially sadistic Barbie doll come to life— but I feel like the wording of this excerpt is kind of rude. The interviewer makes it obvious that they’re digging for more information than she feels like providing, and that’s especially ugly considering how personal of a topic it is. We should feel lucky that such a notoriously private person is letting us in on something to begin with, right? Shouldn’t we just grab that little tit tidbit and be grateful? It’s zigazig-awful.

Either way, Victoria goes on to completely make my day my giving a positive shout-out to her former bandmates:

I think what gave me confidence in myself was meeting the other girls. We always said we were all like rejects in our own way. We had to work hard, and they helped me accept me for who I was.

What a relief. Remember earlier this week when she swore there’d never be another Spice reunion? At least there are no hard feelings. I hope. I also hope she has no hard feelings for her breasts. I just want every Spice Girl to be happy and healthy and sleeping next to a hunky soccer star every night. Is that so much to ask?

Via Allure