It’s been a while since we’ve heard from everyone’s favorite late ’80s/early ’90s music video vixen Courtney Stodden, so you can imagine my excitement when I came across a new commercial she’d filmed for PeTA on why you should go vegetarian. Was she going to deep-throat a cucumber and groan about how “tantilizingly tasty” vegetables are, or what?

Unfortunately for Courtney’s many male fans, she keeps it fairly serious in this commercial, stroking her pink doggie Bizarre (it’s beet juice, okay?) as she talks about how she recently “switched to a vegetarian” to help “save lives that are gonna be slaughtered.” Throughout all of this, she refrains from wiggling around in her chair or making MDMA-face even once. Why, it’s almost like she’s not aroused at all!

Is our little sexpot mellowing out as she approaches the ripe old age of 18? Or maybe we’ve found the one topic not even Courtney Stodden can make into some sort of sex thing, namely: animal abuse and slaughter. In any case, it’s nice to hear her speak semi-coherently about something other than Doug‘s body for a change. And as a vegan of nearly ten years, I’m happy to have young Courtney help us reach the “poorly parented teen girls and creepy old men” demographic.

(Via Youtube)