According to Gawker, 12 year olds are getting bikini waxes. And they were getting them two years ago (commenters are shocked that Gawker did not pick up on this. Commenters on TheGloss, thanks for not being know-it-all douchebags).Whatever – 12 year olds are getting bikini waxes. Now, I can believe that 12 year olds might have something to wax, because we have very different diets than our ancestors, and, blah, blah, science, blah, blah. That’s all well and good.

What I really want to know is what are 12 year olds doing that they need bikini waxes?  Are they having syphilis parties the way Lifetime: Television for Women told me they were? I hate it when Lifetime is right. But even in the event that you’re going to syphilis orgies in 7th grade, shouldn’t you still be enough of a kid that it’s okay to have some hair down there? Really, is that actually something you need to worry about when you’re 12? When I was 12 all I did was worry about what Bat Mitzvah’s I was going to be invited to.

Taking that into consideration, I didn’t get my first bikini wax until I was in college. However, it is extremely likely that I was uncool in Junior High, and everybody was at a syphilis party without me. When did you get your first wax? If you ever did, that is.