At a normal Wednesday night dinner with my boyfriend last week, I got onto an interesting subject with him. We were discussing an app where girls get to rate guys on various aspects of being in a relationship. After checking out the app, a question popped into my head. I looked up at him and asked, “What would you rate yourself?” He answered and then posed the same question to me.
I was so surprised by the way that he answered the question that I didn’t expect this little, innocent question to make me dig so deep into my mind, but it did. When I answered, he was also surprised that I didn’t say a higher number. It got me to thinking: Why are we so afraid to admit we’re attractive?
This matter—especially with women—is one I definitely do not understand, but experience nonetheless. Women spend hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars each year to look and feel good, between makeup, salon appointments, new clothes, gym memberships, skincare, and so much more. How come even after all that, we’re still too afraid to admit that we’re pretty damn good looking?
Believe it or not, us regular, everyday gals aren’t the only ones who have an issue with feeling like a dime. In an interview with the TJ Show on Boston’s 103.3 AMP in July, singer and actress Selena Gomez rated herself a six or seven on the “hotness scale”. Now, I’m sure we can all come to a mutual agreement that Selena Gomez is probably one of the most stunning people out there.
The way I look at it, we’re all self-conscious. We’ve all been called out or made fun of by someone at some time, and chances are it probably scarred us for life. I remember one of my ex’s told me I had weird teeth, and I still look in the mirror some days and want to stop smiling.
But, we have to take a second to stop and realize (as you’ve probably heard from your mom dozens of times) that the people who are making fun of you and calling you out are probably the most insecure people of all.
My point is: Of course you should be confident in yourself. We are all beautiful in some way, shape, or form. That said, we’re also all our own worst critic, so it’s understandable that we’d be hesitant to speak highly of ourselves. On the other hand, it’s also so easy to sound more cocky than confident when speaking even somewhat highly about yourself.
There’s a fine line between sounding like a spoiled little girl from some rich little town who gets everything handed to her and spends all her daddy’s money on spa treatments like it’s her job and sounding like a decent human being. The secret is to speak highly of yourself simply. Try to celebrate rather than to brag.
Of course, if you just spent hundreds of dollars to get your hair balayaged and you want to walk around tossing and flipping your hair, more power to you, girl. Whatever makes you feel most confident in yourself should be fine with everyone else. Moral of the story: You shouldn’t have to be afraid to be confident in yourself and work what your mama gave you. Release your inner Beyoncé and don’t let anyone get in your way to feelin’ yourself.