Skinny like this guy

So, a group of friends has tried doing three day water fasts, which are supposed to be good for you for a variety of reasons. The basic idea is that you consume only water for three days, which is why it is called “a water fast.” It’s supposed to eliminate stored toxins. The only trick is that you have to do it for longer than a day – 3 is advised – as your body begins consuming fat reserves only after 24 hours. The fast is also supposed to allow your digestive tract time to heal. Everyone I know who has done this says that it’s pretty great. Some benefits supposedly include:

Better regulated sleep

Decrease of headaches and joint pain

More energy

Loss of excess weight

Less anxiety

IT MAKES FOOD TASTE REALLY GOOD AFTERWARDS (This does seem kind of obvious).

Anyhow. I think they might be liars. They seem like the kind.

But I am pretty curious. I’m going to try chronicling this as a real person who enjoys eating real food (real food is, in this case, defined as “chocolate covered Oreos” and “brownies made with bacon”). I’m not really great about healthy eating, so I think this process could be an exciting ride to nightmareville. Alternatively, it could work really well! And I could end up with a lot more energy as a result of having fewer toxins! And a new appreciation for food!

Right now, it’s one hour in and I already hate everyone in the office (breakfast is important, you guys). I feel like my hatred might spreading and hitting other people too. Just waves of hatred going out the window, like lightbeams. I don’t care if it hits people on the street. I don’t care because I hate them.

I’m giving my digestive tract the freedom to be the kind of digestive tract it wants to be.

Ashley claims that it’s going to be really great when I have lunch, today.


(No, really, I want to chronicle whether this is actually a nightmare or not. Seems like it probably is. But I only say that because of the crippling headache I already have. And whether I can do it at all. 71 hours to go!)