It’s 2010. Not 1978. Not 1998. And certainly not 2002. The days of glitter are over, people. So stop wearing it so it can stop being sold.
I was perusing Urban Outfitters’ beauty section in their online store and came across Shimmer Roll-On Glitter. It comes in five colors: turquoise, rose, purple, blush and yellow. Five different ugly options to smother yourself in ugly, thick, sticky body glitter. But why is Urban Outfitters still offering this horrible product? Glitter is meant to be used in art not as make-up. Lisa Frank, sand art and spin art made that clear (and really fun). Young artist Tessa Cannell photographed a pictorial of glitter being used as drugs at a party. The message is clear: GLITTER IS A DRUG. Once you inject glitter into your bloodstream (which may inadvertently happen from using body glitter or body glitter lotion or glitter lip balm), you’ll become addicted to it. Like Mariah Carey did. But fortunately for pop culture, once Mariah Carey personified glitter, body glitter (and Mariah Carey) went out of style. Very quickly.
I’m not sure if the glitter look is coming back or not since Ke$ha wears it all the time and Chelsea Handler’s arms were drenched in body glitter at the MTV VMAs. But if it is, then we need to start an anti-glitter movement. As I said before, the product is sticky, icky and gooey and makes you look like Scary Spice. But don’t be calling me a hypocrite just because I loved to wear body glitter when I was a child and pre-teen. I am an adult now, and so are you. Glitter is for art. Glitter is for your child who wants to look like a fairy princess. Glitter is for Halloween and Halloween only. Don’t give into this body glitter “trend.” Just because it’s being sold at Urban Outfitters doesn’t mean its meant for you to purchase it. It’s probably also being sold at Claire’s but you’re not going around shopping at Claire’s, are you? Are you? If you are, then we need to have a different talk.