empress sisi

Empress Sisi knew what was up

I want to begin this by saying that I actually cannot remember if I brushed my hair or not this morning.

But I guess I would remember if I spent $7,000 a year on blow-outs, which apparently some women are doing?

It’s okay! It’s just because women think about “their hair like men think about sex.” At least they do according to blow-out king Arsen Gurgov. Apparently:

Blow-dry addicts fret so much about Gurgov’s physical and mental state that they call the salon in advance to monitor his mood and general well-being. “ ‘He seemed a little tired yesterday. Is he OK today?’ Or, ‘He seemed to be blinking a lot, is he up for this?’ ” laughs Gurgov, “as if I were a brain surgeon performing a life-saving operation on the pope!”

Oh, my God, I think this is the best thing I have ever heard. This is all I want. I want people making frantic phone calls to insure I am not a little tired. You go, Gurgov. Your client base sounds out of their minds, but I think you could form a weird little religion, like they did in The Master. I still haven’t seen The Master, but I reckon it’s something of a how-to guide for people like you.

Look. Here is a secret. If you want straight, manageable hair, get it Japanese straightened. You’ll have to deep condition you hair every other week or so, because the treatment is drying, and you have to have it retouched every six months, but it only costs $350, which up until now I thought was kind of extravagant, but I now see is a total bargain. Here. If you are in New York, London or Tokyo, I really recommend Hayato.