Forget about the game, I was looking at these hairstyles. We’ve seen a lot of interesting things from this World Cup, this mankini being one of them. Of course the one thing the World Cup is always good for–other than increasing your blood pressure–is the hairstyles. Not that I am in any way biased, but the US team had some great hairstyles and one set of immaculate eyebrows courtesy of Geoff Cameron. Cristiano Ronaldo tried a zig-zag cut as a tribute to a fan with cancer that was equal parts snazzy and touching. Then there are those special players who exceed expectations and create things that I didn’t think were possible with human hair.
Here are the 10 strangest hairstyles from the 2014 World Cup:
1. Mathieu Valbuena, France
Everyone’s hair reacts differently when exposed to heat and humidity. Some people’s puffs into a massive frizz ball, while other people’s turns so greasy that it looks wet. It seems that when Mathieu Valbuena‘s hair is exposed to Brazil’s tropical temperatures, it stands at a 78 degree angle and is impenetrable to water.
2. Valon Behrami, Switzerland
3. Neymar, Brazil
Hmmm…it looks like the skunk hair dye trend could be taking off already if Behrami and Neymar are both rocking it. Those are some impressive Daenerys Targaryen white blonde tips.
4. Kyle Beckerman, United States
Kyle Beckerman‘s dreadlocks seem to have taken on a life on their own. Look at the way they defy gravity in this photo That isn’t photoshop. Soon his hair will require its own contract.
5. Raul Meireles, Portugal
This makes me sad. Raul Meireles‘s mohawk could have been glorious, alas, it looks like Brazil’s scorching humidity got to it as well. Next time Raul should read these tips for dealing with sauna-like weather conditions, and invest in some heavy duty hair gel.
6. Rodrigo Palacio, Argentina
You already saw what Rodrigo Palacio‘s hair looked like from the side and in motion, now take a look at what it looks like from the front. Of all the braid hairstyles I’ve seen this summer, I have never seen one like this before.
7. Serey Die, Ivory Coast
I think I know why Serey Die is crying and it has nothing to do with the soccer game. I reckon someone must have shown him the back of his head in a mirror and he found out his mini mohawk was crooked. Jeez, I hate crappy hairdressers.
8. Asamoah Gyan, Ghana
It’s good luck to wear your lucky number, so bleaching it on your head must be the equivalent of wearing a necklace made out of horseshoes and four leaf clovers. I bet Asamoah Gyan wished his lucky number was a “1” after he spent forever in the bathroom trying to bleach a backwards “3.”
9. Sami Khedira, German
Sadly there weren’t many hair accessories at the 2014 World Cup, so I’m happy to see Sami Khedira sporting a thin black sweatband. My only wish is that he went with a different color, because this headband blends in with his hair and makes it look like he has a very small forehead.
10. Sergio Aguero, Argentina
Has Sergio Aguero done the impressive feat of creating a new hairstyle? This looks like the Hitler Youth haircut crossed with a nerdy chemistry teacher’s toupée. I can hear the hipsters hearts beating with admiration from here.
(Photos: Getty Images, WENN)