You trust Anton Chekhov, right?

His last words were “it has been a long time since I’ve had champagne,” after his doctor presented him with some. He said that. Then he died.

I think it’s part of Chekhov’s law (“one must not put a loaded gun onstage if no one is thinking of firing it”) that if he talks longingly about how long it’s been since he has had champagne, he’s going to die before he gets to drink any. So. Remember. A glass of champagne a day keeps the grim spectre of death itself away.

But not whiskey! Supposedly Dylan Thomas’s last words were “I’ve had 18 straight whiskey’s, I think that’s the record.” So, yeah, I guess don’t drink ALL THE WHISKEY.

Also, authors are drunks.

If you want to see more famous writer’s last words, check out this cool list on Buzzfeed.