gordon gekko

Look. Billionaire investor Paul Tudor Jones doesn’t think that women are terrible. He had a mother, and everything! He doesn’t even think they’re incompetent. He just thinks that they don’t make good traders because they keep having babies and it makes their brains all feeble.

According to Jezebel, at a recent panel at the University of Virginia McIntire School of Commerce he said:

“Take a girl that was my age at that point in time. Particularly back in the ’70s. I can think of two that actually started at [brokerage firm] E.F. Hutton with me. Within four years, in 1980, right when I was beginning to launch my company, they both got married. And then they both had – which in my mind is as big as a killer as divorce is – they both had children. And as soon as that baby’s lips touched that girls bosom, forget it, [audience laughter] every single investment idea, every desire to understand, every desire to understand what’s going to go up, what’s going to go down, is going to be overwhelmed by the most beautiful experience which a man will never understand but the emotion between that mother and that baby. And I’ve just seen it happen over and over again”

To be fair, it seems like the only people Paul Tudor Jones think make good traders are kind of emotionless automatons, so it’s not just women, it’s also men who have been rendered feeble by their emotions because they are going through a divorce (that is the only thing that inspires emotion in male traders, apparently).

Look, it’s not a total loss. You can still be a trader as long as you promise to never, ever have a baby. I am saying this only for the benefit of those of you who do not already have babies. Those of you who have babies probably cannot even read this and are just seeing these “words” as a large lovely smudge that translates as some soothing cooing noises.

He says:

“If you told me that this woman was not going to have a baby, certainly can get married but is not going to have a baby, then I think it would be a completely different panel 20 years from now, assuming that she’s not going to have a baby.”

So, if you absolutely hate children and also any kind of feelings, ever, this sounds like a great career for you.

Picture via Wall Street