Before you guess how much strippers make, I want you to ask yourself if you are ready to feel bad about absolutely all of your life choices. I mean, every single one of them. You’re ready? That’s great. This is a picture of her take-home pay that a stripper posted on Reddit:

how much do you earn as a stripper

At first I thought, “There are a lot of ones in there. What is that, like, $600? That seems reasonable.”

Hahaha, I cannot count! Or have much conception of what a good deal of money looks like. You would think watching Scrooge McDuck swim through that pool of money over and over as a kid would have helped me, but it did not.

MSN tallied up the money and found it worked out to about $3,445.

For one day. Jesus, God. Now, to be fair, she worked 15 hours (11:30am to 3am) so that’s only, oh, well, that $230 an hour. I guess that’s still pretty good, $230 an hour.

Wow, I made poor life choices. I should have studied gymnastics so much harder as a kid. The stripper who posted the picture tells MSN:

She did admit that this stack of cash was “double an average night,” but pulling in a grand every night isn’t too bad, either. So how do we get this gig? “You have to be in good shape, quick witted, confident and have a pretty face,” she wrote.

I am wondering if I can maybe pull off the rest, but, also, approach everything with an air of abject fear and timidity. I think I could handle a lot except for the whole “talking to people” and “dancing” parts. I would settle for a small paycut, so, say, only $3,000 a night.