Having breasts is sabotaging your career! Just the way it did for Mulan. According to the Daily Mail:

Women who show too much cleavage at work are sabotaging their careers and could even face the sack, according to a survey.

Contrary to the idea that womanly wiles are an advantage in business, bosses have named low-cut tops as one of the biggest mistakes a female worker can make.

Everyone at TheGloss is female but that doesn’t mean we’re not being sabotaged by our cleavage all the time. Here are some ways our breasts are really holding us back and stopping us from being productive:

Finding lumps, pointedly wondering aloud if we have cancer, hoping for sick day

We once had a 3 minute long conversation about whether any of us wear bras. Answer: not in the summer when we’re wearing sundresses.

Seriously, I’m pretty sure there shouldn’t be a lump. What kind of health insurance do we have if I have cancer?

Babies always latching onto them

Really. Babies just appearing out of nowhere. IT’S TERRIFYING IN HERE.

You know what else is really stopping us from working? Not having a penis.