The week between Christmas and New Year’s is a breeding ground for bad ideas. The leftover sugar cookies are devoured with abandon. The guy you hooked up with at your company holiday party is suddenly your prime choice for a New Year’s Eve date. But the worst idea is public: You post some awful resolutions on Facebook. Lose ten pounds. Hit the gym at least four times a week. Cut down on drinking. Take them down before anyone comments. Like I said, these are bad ideas.
The only thing worse for your soul than diet, exercise and sobriety is publicly announcing your plans to diet, exercise and forgo drinking. Not that there is anything wrong with these respectable resolutions. They’re just a pain in the ass. Save the diet for bathing-suit weather and the workout for the spring.
To usher in 2011 right, I’ve provided you with ten tried-and-true New Year’s resolutions you might actually keep. So go ahead and post these on Facebook. Come March, you’ll be laughing at the failed dieters and bragging about your willpower.
1. Take more bubble baths. Cut down on those showers and splurge on some Mr. Bubble. A lady is entitled to some relaxing alone-time, and there’s nothing more calming than a foamy bath with a good glass of wine and a few candles. Leave your BlackBerry in the bedroom: This is a no-work zone. Bring your favorite magazine, book or catalogue and a bunch of warm towels, and lock the door. Things are about to get indulgent.
2. Have more sex. Sometimes, we get busy. We get tired and grumpy and frazzled and just want to be alone. But for those of us in long-term relationships—or for those of us who, you know, have no qualms about their bedmates—it’s important to remember to have sex. Make love. Do it. Whatever your preference. Show your partner you love him or her, and get some love back. Sex is the ultimate aphrodisiac—the more you have it, the more you want it. And it’s great for your glutes.
3. Paint your own nails. Save the weekly $15 you shell out to Tina across from your office. Head to Duane Reade and pick up a two-sided file, your favorite colors and a bottle of top coat. Learning to do your own nails is not only therapeutic (I zone out in front of the TV Sunday nights), but it will save you a ton of money. Take the $780 you saved by painting your own nails in 2011 and go somewhere warm for 2012.
6. Turn on your oven. This advice isn’t just for us ladies. It’s important to learn how to cook something more substantial than milk and cereal. Sorry to insult your Food Network savvy, but that’s not even cooking. Don’t fret, I’m sure all those Barefoot Contessa episodes you DVRed will pay off one day when you want to make a Bearnaise sauce. When you’re on the phone with your mom, ask for a few easy recipes. You would be surprised how easy it is to roast a chicken or make a fresh marinara sauce.
7. Eat breakfast. And while we’re on the subject of food, you should try eating some in the morning. Eating a healthy breakfast is a surefire way to not go crazy on takeout pad thai for lunch. Stock up the pantry with granola and oatmeal. It is, after all, the most important meal of the day for a reason.
8. Drink better booze. Enough with the lite beer and plastic bottles of vodka. Ladies, let me introduce you to whiskey. Treat it right and it will be your best friend. Treat it badly and it will take you down. The king of whiskey is Scotch—which can taste like a smooth melted caramel. It can also taste like rocket fuel. I happen to like my scotch like I like my men: old and single.
9. Get more sleep. Studies show women sleep less than men. It’s not surprising, but it is definitely depressing. Adults needs 7.5 to 9 hours of sleep each night, so you’d better turn those lights off early. Sleep makes us happy, healthy, smart and thin! With all those benefits, it’s probably the best resolution you can make this year.