I’ve been to a lot of Pilates classes in my day. I enjoy the challenging strength training, as well as the relaxing stretches towards the end of class.

And I’m not the only one — the more I go, the more I begin to notice my fellow devotees, and the characteristics that they share. Should you decide to take a Pilates class in your hometown, here are the people I guarantee you will run into:

  1. The rich housewife. This type of woman will actually account for about 50% of the class, and she is easily identifiable because her mutli-carat diamond engagement ring and wedding band will blind you every time she twists.
  2. The teen. I always wonder about the teens in Pilates class. Why are their parents letting them drop $15-$30 a class when they could be outside running around? And aren’t their cores kind of strong already? It seems like a grown-up class for an adolescent.
  3. The guy. Very similar to the yoga guy, the Pilates guy is usually the only male in the class. You can always see a vague outline of his junk, and you will always wonder if he’s sitting in the back because he doesn’t really know what he’s doing or so he can check out the collective ass.
  4. The newbie. She will definitely be in the back, and you can identify her because she will look really pissed off. You will know that she is wondering why the hell she’s subjecting herself to this torment. You were once her.
  5. The older woman who is better at Pilates than everyone else. She might be in her early 50’s, or she might be in her early 70’s. But she will be wearing spandex, and she will be more toned than you, and she will have an easier time with the ab exercises than anyone else in the class. And you will idolize her, and you will promise yourself that one day you will be her.